Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
