Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
