It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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