i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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