What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
