I should be sponsored by Trojan
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
