whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Randomize
