Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
