you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize