Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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