All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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