We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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