went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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