Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize