okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
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