Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I yelled at your uterus for you.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
