We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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