And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I need moral support for this bender
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
