Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
it's like iHOP with fire
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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