no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
