I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
