She's JV to your varsity
if i died would you start the facebook group?
so let's talk penis.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
