Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize
