Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize