whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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