Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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