i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
