she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize