it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
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