i think my tv is drunk
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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