Grow some girl-balls and come out already
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
