He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
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