Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
