he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
