the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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