I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
