LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
