dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Randomize
