she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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