My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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