on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Randomize
