it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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