Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
