dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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