this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
where am i from again
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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