What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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