so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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