Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
