I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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