Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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