NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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