she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
