It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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