About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Boobs speak an international language.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Randomize
