It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
do nipples grow back?
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