you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
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