like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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