Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
