matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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