I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
