yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize