So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
