Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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